Yes, as the title suggests; I’ve done a shit ton of drugs in my early 20s. It all started when I decided to go off all my meds and couldn’t sleep and researched all the meds I was on. I then discovered Erowid and went off to the races in researching everything.
DISCLAIMER : I do not endorse the use of anything I’ve mentioned in this article. Just because I did shit doesn’t mean you need to do shit too. But if you do PLEASE do so in an educated way!
DXM - Dextromethorphan - My First Love
The first recreational drug I took was Dextromethorphan. This is a chemical commonly found in cough suppressants like Robitussin. In doses higher than usually taken for cough, like around 150+ milligrams, Dextromethorphan becomes a VERY interesting substance. The first time I took it I calculated out that I’d need to take 3 and a half dosage cups worth of syrup to reach what I wanted. So, I fasted the entire day and when I got home from school I waited until night and went to my room and dosed up. It was a magical experience to say the least. Music sounded better, my skin felt lighter, everything felt amazing. Now I’d be remised if I didn’t go over the dangers of this. You need to make sure that you are getting syrup or pills with ONLY Dextromethorphan HBr or Dextromethorphan Polistirex. No other ingredients should be in the product that you find if you decide to try this for yourself. Also, do your own research! There are tons of great things to read about DXM online:
Usually people don’t enjoy DXM but those that do are USUALLY introverts for whatever reason. I’m VERY introverted and was very much psychologically addicted to DXM. I’ve done it in every plateau dosage. I’ve also done Coricidin Cough and Cold more times than is probably safe. Every time I’ve done it was enjoyable but the only reason I stopped was because the magic was gone. No matter what dose I took or how long of a break I took, it just didn’t feel the same anymore.
/DEL/ - DPH / Benadryl / Diphenhydramine
The next thing I ended up experimenting with was Benadryl. This is HELL in a pill. Imagine staying up for three days straight and being dehydrated and losing your short-term memory and having restless BODY syndrome. That’s pretty much what this pill does in high doses. It’s a deliriant chemical, so it makes you delirious. Yeah in lower dosages it might fix your allergies or help you get to sleep but raise that dosage to something like 250mg and you are just bound for a bad time. Again, this is a drug I’ve done a ton in multiple dosage levels. There are no good places to read about this online, there is no cult following like a “DPH FAQ” to read.
Why did I do this one so much or at all? Well, it helps with the nausea that DXM sometimes has. Not only that but it also “potentiates” the effects of DXM. When taken alone though, this is just hell. An oddly enjoyable hell? Maybe I was sick in the head a little bit but there was something enjoyable about the existential hell this drug puts you through. My skin would become ultra-sensitive and I’d need to rock back and forth due to inner tension. Everything would sound far away and tinny. Static would form on everything and turn into tiny spiders (NOTE, I HAVE A HORRIBLE FEAR OF INSECTS AND SPIDERS). The interesting part was that I’d know what was real and what wasn’t. Even in dosages up to 2 grams worth of DPH I didn’t ever have the effects that lots of people report with this. My hallucinations never got ultra-intense.
Benzos / Xanax / Klonopin / Valium
Boring honestly. Not even therapeutically helpful. Yes, there were times where benzos were what I had and helped me with an anxiety or a panic or a mood but for me in retrospect I think they weren’t the best idea for me personally. But anyway, benzos are usually prescribed for anxiety disorders. I’ve taken pretty much all of them. Xanax (alprazolam), Valium (diazepam), Klonopin (clonazepam), Ativan (lorazepam). My favorite recreationally has got to be Ativan. For whatever reason it seems to relax me in the most enjoyable way.
I’ve taken this for sleep for a short while. Again, useless for what its prescribed for. It never put me to sleep. It put my significant other at the time to sleep just fine, she also sleep talked VERY entertainingly. But for me, no matter what the dose, no sleep. So OBVIOUSLY high dosage adventures began. MAYBE it’s recreational, MAYBE it’s relaxing, MAYBE it’s even slightly hallucinogenic. The issue with this FOR ME is that tolerance is built almost immediately. Maybe one day it would make me kind of tired and then the next day nothing and I’d need to not take it for a couple days. Mind you this was before I was on my Adderall. I’m VERY atypical for what Ambien does to me.
Now I'm going to get into the fringe stuff most people never heard of before.
There are things you probably heard of in the media called research chemicals. Yeah, I’ve ordered and used a couple of these before. All very shady and all require tons of respect and research and testing of your own.
M A G I C A L ! ! !
This white crystal powder is fucking magic. This is a powerful psychedelic substance with very little research. It was discovered, synthesized and tested on himself and other humans by Alexander Shulgin in 1977. The first time I took it I measured out 15mg on my scale and wrapped it up in some rolling paper and swallowed it. Then I took a tiny bit more and snorted it because I’m impulsive as hell. It burns like a fuck when you snort it but kicks in ALMOST immediately. The first thing I noticed was that my typing on the computer, I was in a Stickam chatroom and Ventrilo with my friends, was becoming very hard to do. In my head I was seeing my typing in a very interesting way. My fingers were pressing down on tall buildings which were inside slots of the keyboard. I was a giant God of typing. Pretty soon typing and communication became all too much to handle so I went and turned on Icy Demons https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7se9iIssrnw&list=PL1C8EACC58B956923 and laid down on my bed and began to have the most amazing experience ever. I was writhing around on my bed and probably alternating between a wide grin and a straight face look while being transfixed with my ceiling. The ceiling in my room at the time was one of those popcorn ceilings with texture. It was morphing and changing into hieroglyphics and scrolling newsprint. It felt like I was being shown EVERYTHING. Once that phase was over I went back to my computer and one of my buddies just joined the vent and Stickam room and the first thing he said was “Anybody see those owls tonight?” and I thought this was the funniest thing in the world. I looked over at myself on the webcam image and my eyes were wide like an owl and my face was just doing ITS OWN THING ENTIRELY. I could still barely type at all. Music sounded amazing, there were echoes and flanging and reverbs that I’m not sure if existed or not. I stayed up all night just observing everything. I listened to all my favorite music and even the silence of the house. Leaving my room to get some water from the kitchen in the middle of the night was very interesting. I heard crickets that, again, I’m not sure if existed or not. I never saw things that weren’t there. The only hallucinations were morphing and pattern re-enforcement. Auditory hallucinations were just DSP style effects on everything. Everything was influenced by my thoughts and emotional state. I could change and do anything by just thinking it.
The bad of this drug is in the fact that it’s a research chemical. You KIND OF never know what you got. That’s always a risk. That applies to any of these RCs that I’m going to talk about. Specific to 2C-E though, there is a lot of vasoconstriction that happens. You might get cramps or numbness, but also those might just be tactile hallucinations. I had one trip where I was sobbing and crying and on the verge of throwing up in the beginning JUST BECAUSE I thought that I might get nauseous. Once I got over that looping thought it went away and I was so thankful.
I N T R O S P E C T I V E
This is an interesting one. Both the times I’ve tried this substance I had the same result. The come up wasn’t nearly as intense as 2C-E was, not in the least. There were minor visual things that went on, but the overarching feeling was a numbness of emotion. Like, I did have morphing going on, but I was just like “pfft, so what? Whatever dude, this is boring.”. I couldn’t shake this no matter what I did. I forget the dosages I took as this was a very long time ago.
P A R T Y / H A P P Y
I got this in a pressed pill form. I believe I had 300mg worth of pills that were 15mg each. THIS DIDN’T LAST LONG. This had most of the visual effects and euphoria of 2C-E but with none of the body effects. Very empathetic.
Not quite DXM, another thing altogether. This is Mr. Bones Wild Ride. It ends but you’d wish it never ended. Oddly, I got into the band Death Grips at the same time I had gotten possession of MXE. I swear there is a dissociative quality to Death Grips music. Also, if you haven’t noticed by now there is a common high that I’m chasing here with drugs, an effect called musical euphoria https://psychonautwiki.org/wiki/Increased_music_appreciation . DXM has this in spades. Psychedelics are a hit and a miss when it comes to this, I think this is due to their emotional component where what you are experiencing is affected by what you feel and what you are experiencing is feeding back into how you feel. MXE has something on another level. You get musical euphoria mixed with a sort of mania and tactile hallucinations. Not only that but it is 100% possible to go into what is called a hole on MXE. A hole is where you lose all connection to reality. It’s not entirely blacking out because you can swear that things are going on at the time. It usually starts with a feeling of movement internally. Like a magnet is pulling you around. I thought the noise of the central heating unit where I was living was generating a magnetic field that was pulling me around and then I blacked out and entered a soft, white filled space with all knowing beings in it that comforted me for a tiny while and then I came back to reality crying. Very powerful and interesting stuff to go through.
Normal-ass Drugs / More Common Substances
Weed / Cannabis / Pot
Yeah, I’ve smoked before. It wasn’t my gateway drug LOL fuck that concept! My gateway was research! So, ban knowledge please thanks. It’s whatevs really. Pot doesn’t seem to affect me the same way as I see it affect everyone else. I stay relatively together and I’m actually less scatterbrained then my usual ADHD self. I kind of get the munchies. I get REALLY strong music euphoria from THE WEED. I’ve mixed it with ALMOST everything else on this list.
Adderall - My Current Meds
This slows me down, makes me less impulsive and helps me focus. Being impulsive is what threw me on a ~8-year long drug binge. The only thing it doesn’t help me with is motivation. That part of my brain is till very broken and fucked up from my ADHD.
I smoked from the age I was 18 to about when I was 25, bout the same length that I was “doing” drugs. Now I vape. Hey insurance companies that find this blog, fuck with my rates okay!
Nicotine / Vape
I am a firm believer in that nicotine itself isn’t dangerous. I use high nicotine content e-liquids for my vape because I consider it an adjunct to my medication for ADHD.
MDMA / Ecstasy
I’ve done this on a handful of occasions. Yes, its empathetic and you can communicate so much clearer. Its an amazing therapy tool also.
Why did I want to publish this information and why did I do what I did? Well, this isn’t all of it… I got bored and wanted to post up what I got done so far. There are more things I’ve done, and I’ll talk about, I just noticed I was giving quick summaries instead of proper information. Why did I do what I did? Well, curiosity, impulsivity and personal situations. This is what recreational drug use is. There wasn’t any horrible addiction (besides DXM, which was strictly psychological) or escapism going on. Being a psychonaut is exploring what consciousness is. At some point I’ll write about more substances I did.